


Waves of Change

by gala_apples



Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Experimentation, Historical Fantasy, Kidnapping, M/M, Mad Scientists, Podfic Available, Religious Conflict, Sirens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-05
Updated: 2012-10-05
Packaged: 2017-11-15 16:40:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/529374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gala_apples/pseuds/gala_apples
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spencer is a merchant boy who speaks to Ryan every time the Smith boat goes past the Sirens, Brendon is the heavily religious boy that falls in love with Spencer, and can't understand his talking to demons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Waves of Change

**Author's Note:**

> Now with podfic, by TheOneCalledEli, [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1054518)

It’s been days and Ryan is still having trouble processing what happened.

-

Spencer comes out as gay when he’s six years old. All ocean faring families build up a sort of immunity against the Siren’s call. Or, if not an immunity, at least the willpower to ignore the song. There’s an intense tradition of shame, a knowledge that it’s a weakness to let the sound sway you.

The immunity of sorts is the kind of thing that builds over time though. Indoctrination takes time. And when Spencer turns six the Smiths decide to return to the waters, daughters just old enough to sleep through the night. As with every vessel launching into the water, a group of Sirens meet them. Spencer’s father and mother stand tall and stiff, not letting themselves so much as lean forward as first the females then the males sing. They take their vows of fidelity seriously, and the guilt that fills the air as his father forces himself to not be interested is heavy enough that even Spencer can sense something is wrong.

Spencer is six and doesn’t yet know what kissing is, the Smiths being a modest family. But when the group of men and boys sing Spencer runs to the railing. Though he doesn’t know it, that means something.

Only the steady grip of his father’s hand on his oiled jacket stops Spencer from leaping into the water when a black haired boy catches his eye. His mouth is open so widely it seems to take up half his face, and Spencer tries to mimic the movement but it makes the corners of his lip hurt so he stops. Spencer doesn’t want to look away, even though he knows all the stories of the bad people in the water, knows them well enough to repeat to Crystal and Jackie even though they’re too little to understand. But the ship is moving, and when the Sirens don’t follow, slowly the boy goes out of sight.

-

It would be different if it made no sense. If he was just kidnapped at random he could think ‘what the fuck, fucking assholes’. He could be pissed about the luck of the draw, sing a song of Chance and channel all his frustration into it. If it was random he could let himself get caught up in thoughts of arbitrariness, and distract himself from the others thoughts of if Spencer will ever find him, or if anyone else is looking, or if he’ll survive this.

-

The first lesson Brendon remembers learning is how Sirens are the biggest sinners on God’s land. Their voices have the chords of Satan’s own voice entwined in each sound, they expel his air in each breath. His power coursing through the Sirens is so overwhelming that even the holiest of men are drawn.

The older Brendon gets, the more he learns. Some things about counting and letters and seasons, but mostly about God, and what he needs from Brendon, and Satan, and what he’ll try to take. He might not know how to subtract, but he knows Sirens are bad bad bad. Sirens are so bad they can’t even go to Hell, because they’re part of it. It’s hard to imagine something that bad, but Brendon trusts people older than him, and his mom and his dad and their friends and church and his brothers and sisters all tell him sinning is bad, and Sirens are the biggest sinners, and they can _make you_ sin too.

Brendon doesn’t want to be bad. If he’s bad then Kira and Mason and his gramma don’t get to go to the Celestial Kingdom. People ascend into Heavenly Father’s arms because they’re sealed together. So he stays as far as he can from the ocean, making sure to never get within range of their voices. He won’t be the reason his family suffers.

-

It would be different again if it made perfect sense. If Ryan was the Celine Dion of the ocean, or the Elton John he could understand. If he has the perfect voice he could be almost proud of them taking him.

-

There are some thing Spencer cannot talk to Ryan about, such as what prices he haggled for in foreign markets. Spencer is good with getting outstanding deals, the best in his family. He’s almost always the one that is sent, his parents trust him to keep their bottom line strong. It’s a utter fact that letting anyone know the true price of an item is the best way to lead a family to ruin. Spencer doesn’t believe Ryan would tell, it would be a stone cold betrayal. His family wouldn’t have the same confidence, if they found out he might be banned from going out on their next trip. And it’s an almost certainty they would find out. The only way of communicating with a Siren is shouting toward the waters below. Shouting loud enough for Ryan to hear is certainly loud enough for his family to hear.

Similarly there are things Ryan cannot tell him. Among the Sirens Ryan is a loner. Unlike the rest of his tribe, he follows ships as they drift past. A human could not swim that fast, but of course Ryan isn’t a mere human. For as long as he can, he travels with the Smiths. But at a certain point in the water Ryan stops. He explains that he must, but nothing further.

Spencer’s newest secret is stupid, because it’s not a secret. The rest of the world knew he liked boys far before Spencer felt the first urge to hold the hand of another man. Still, he cannot bring himself to tell Ryan. Partly because there is no one specifically. It would be easier to admit to liking an individual rather than claiming to like an entire half of a species. Mostly because sometimes he wishes it was Ryan. If only Ryan were human, Spencer could easily spend every moment with him.

-

Instead of making sense, or lacking sense, the logic is inherently there, but is completely fucked. Every time they visit him in his cage he can barely hold himself back from telling them how stupid they are. Only the knowledge that a volt of current through the water would fry him in seconds keeps him silent. If Spencer does find him it’s not fair to him to already be dead when he comes in. He knows better than to hope for anyone else to come looking.

-

Miracles are supposed to come to those of the chosen faith. Most of his brethren have experienced one, but at fourteen Brendon has yet to have the touch of Heavenly Father’s finger, or the stroke of an angel’s feathers. He hasn’t gotten better from a wasting disease, or lost hundreds of pounds of weight, or experienced birth. No one has ever accused Brendon of not being a true believer, but he’s certain his faith can only get stronger if he were to experience something.

That’s when God maneuvers everything so it aligns perfectly. He doesn’t notice anything odd at that moment. There’s nothing inherently different about Matt asking him to pick up meat for dinner, as the youngest he tends to do everyone’s errands. Nor is there when it turns out the butcher has been rude to the ship supplying him, attempting to lowball them, and now has no fresh cuts. Brendon can’t understand those that mess with merchants, those that essentially keep Navia running. He chooses to go with another butcher, and another teen is waiting in the long line. Brendon can’t help but strike up a conversation, and by the time they’ve both got their cuts Brendon is making Spencer promise to meet him by the juice vendor in a half an hour so they can run their purchases home. 

One of the first things he learns as they share a orange juice, rich and thick with pulp, is that Spencer and others of his kind don’t stay in town for long periods of time. Most of his life will be spent on the ocean, unless he decides to betray his family. Brendon knows what that’s like, his destiny lies within the lines his family draws as well. Over the next two weeks Brendon learns more about Spencer than he knows about some of his kin in church. Every nugget of knowledge he gains only makes him want to spend more time with Spencer, dig deeper into the boy’s thoughts. By the time he goes back to the waters, Brendon knows he’s in love.

-

They don’t understand. Ryan has tried to explain it, he can’t remember how many times he’s tried to explain. Each time a new person comes into the room to visit his cage he tries to explain that he can’t do what they want. Girls in skirts, men in plaid shirts, women with neatly buttoned blouses, it doesn’t matter, each one ignores him utterly. Sometimes he thinks they won’t understand until he’s dead.  
-

“The Spirit of the Divine has kidnapped Ryan.” Brendon’s waited almost two hours for Spencer to be able to break away from offloading cargo from the Smith’s ship and get far enough away from the water that he can get his _hello again_ kiss. In a long distance relationship _hello again_ kisses are very important. This is not a good beginning to their stretch of time together.

Brendon flinches and reminds Spencer “we had a deal. I don’t preach at you, you don’t talk to me about _it_.”

“ _His_ name is Ryan, and he’s been kidnapped. Who the shit is the Spirit of the Divine? Is that your stupid church?”

“No, of course not. They’re a bunch of nutjobs.”

Spencer doesn’t seem impressed with the clarification. “Yeah, well yours has you afraid to get into the water, so.”

“I’m not afraid of water. I just-”

“Yeah, shut up, I don’t care. You need to help me find him.”

This is a really really bad beginning to their stretch of time together. Every three weeks they spend together Brendon becomes more certain in their love. Spencer feels the same, he’s managed to convince his parents into staying on land longer so he has more time to court his loved one. For his part, Brendon has told everyone the truth. He’s even reconciled his family with the idea of bringing a male into the fold, so long as Spencer is a believer. He knows it’ll be a hard effort to convert Spencer to understanding Heavenly Father, but Brendon is willing to do just about anything for Spencer. So of course he asks for something impossible. “Spencer, I can’t.”

“You have to!”

He shakes his head, willing Spencer to understand. “I can’t consort with evil. It’ll contaminate my life and my family.”

Spencer doesn’t understand. In fact, Spencer looks like he’s two or three words from brawling. “Brendon,” he starts, muscle under his eye twitching, which is a very bad sign for the rest of the sentence, “I am about to punch you in the face.” Yep, he called it. This is going to get ugly. “I’ve been ‘consorting’ with Ryan for more than ten years and the only evil thing I’ve been pulled into is my best friend being kidnapped by some religious freakshows. So if you know who they are, or where they are, fucking tell me.”

-

They want him to sing to draw people to their religion. They think if he sings a chorus about their teachings he can draw people to it. The problem is Sirens don’t sing in words. Words are for _talking_. Singing is beyond mere talking, it’s for concepts and feeling. Ryan can’t sing commandments. He could sing Faith, or Spirit, but he can’t make those drawn to the songs chose a specific religion.

-

The Spirit of the Divine spend most of their days loitering. It’s easy to spot them, they always wear light blue handkerchiefs. Whether it’s around well traversed streets, or doorways of shops, or even if one is sitting by herself at one of the few benches outside an eatery, the rest of the tables entirely full, Brendon does his best to avoid them. His religion is clear on consequences of following false prophets.

He no longer has that choice. He’s doing this task for Spencer, because if Spencer does it he won’t know how to properly repent to save himself. Even if Brendon explained how, Spencer wouldn’t even try.

Brendon finds a cluster and joins the three men. It takes them all of a minute to start preaching. Brendon tries to let them speak without hearing much of it, a mental brick wall at his ears. He’s already facing the potential of mucking up his faith by helping those that everyone believes are Satan’s tools, he’s not going to make things worse by listening to false prophets about false ideas. Luckily it doesn’t take much, every believer wants to own the honour of having someone listen and understand so well that they have no choice but to come into the fold. Spencer would be sarcastic and sniping, make a quip about preachers being like Sirens. There are some things Spencer can't understand.

-

They don’t believe him when he says it won’t work. Can’t work. They think he just doesn’t care enough about their ideals, that once he cares he’ll want to sing their music. They won’t let him sleep. They just keep preaching at him, and when their voices die out they put on recordings. Ryan’s not indoctrinated yet, but he thinks he’s slowly going insane. He can’t help but wonder how much will be left when Spencer comes. Spencer will come. He will.

-

Spencer should be happy that his boyfriend managed to squirm his way into yet another group of completely mental people. He knows how strongly Brendon holds his own religious beliefs, they’ve bickered about it often enough. A single comment from his boyfriend to one of the Divine people about _but don’t you think God wants this other completely arbitrary thing_ and his cover would be blown. Not that he would be any better. He’s good at merchant based lies, not ones about personal beliefs. He couldn’t have pulled off _interested in your utter bullshit_ for five minutes.

It’s not as open and shut as being thrilled Brendon went successfully undercover though. Knowing Brendon’s been enlisted to hold Ryan’s fate in his hands is in some ways worse than not being able to help him at all. Spencer wants to trust him, but it would be so easy for him to not even bother to look for him, and then report back saying Ryan couldn’t be helped. Brendon hates everything Ryan represents, and Spencer has not been taught to trust. Trusting gets you molding crops or fake gems.

Even if Brendon does take the noble route and go against his personal beliefs to save someone Spencer loves, it’s still not the safest move. Who knows what it’ll take to get Ryan out of whatever swimming pool they have him holed up in? Or worse yet, what if they’ve kept Ryan out of water? Sirens are not like their mythical cousins, they aren’t half fish and they won’t die on land. Still, he wouldn’t wish that level of physical and metal weakness on anyone. If Ryan’s incoherent Brendon is going to have that much more of a difficult time getting Ryan safely out.

-

They’ve begun to use other methods of persuasion. As far as their cause goes he can’t blame them. They’re determined, and they're certain he’s holding out on them, it’s rather logical they’re stepping up the pressure. That doesn’t make it any easier when they heat the water to near boiling temperature or threaten to add chemicals that will make his skin peel off.

-

When they make him join -oh, they ask, but it’s undoubtedly a test, there’s no choice about it- Brendon can’t help but hate Spencer a little. He might not want demons in his life but Ryan is crying and Brendon can’t make himself think of him like an it, like he’s supposed to, like he’s been _taught_. Demons don’t cry. He’s heard all the parables and sermons, he knows demons lie and seduce and beckon. But they don’t cry.

Brendon can’t even say he’s sorry. It would blow his cover, and why would Ryan believe him anyway? He wishes he’d known Ryan before, so Ryan could recognise his face and know that it will end soon. Even if Ryan had blown his cover by gasping and Brendon would have needed to try and beat the Diviners up or something it would have been better than this.

Eventually though, he shows enough enthusiasm for proselytizing that they leave him to preach while they catch up on long needed sleep. The minute Brendon’s alone he unlocks the heavy metal grate and pulls it off the top of the tank. “I’m here to help. I’m sorry I had to do all that, but they wouldn’t have left-”

“Spencer?” he asks roughly. His voice is messed up from screaming.

“He sent me, he didn’t think he could fool the Diviners. How can I get you out of here? You have legs, I didn’t think you’d have legs. Can you walk like a person can?” At this point Spencer would probably bitch at him that Ryan is a person, he’s just not a human. Brendon will get there, but for now not-demon is the best he’s gonna be able to do.

“I can’t. But I don’t have much choice. You’ll have to help.”

-

Brendon takes him to Spencer’s house, apologising the whole time. Whatever they added to the water is searing against his skin, it’s staining Brendon’s clothes where their sides are pressed together. He's not so much walking as letting Brendon drag him. Spencer bolts out of the house before they’re halfway up the street, taking the other half of Ryan’s weight so he’s hardly supporting himself. Brendon murmurs he’s sorry and kisses Ryan chastely. He wants to laugh. He’s been tortured, the correct method of dealing with it is sluicing the chemical off and calling the authorities, not kissing away boo-boos.

But maybe he is sorry, and from the corner of his vision Spencer looks like he needs it to be okay. So he sings an Acceptance. He’s not submerged so it’s pathetically weak, but it serves it’s purpose. Spencer rests his head on Ryan’s shoulder, and Brendon’s hand tightens slightly on his hip. It’s enough. After seventeen years of being touchless in the water, it’s more than enough.


End file.
